Wii U Update Rolls Out Virtual Console

Nintendo Wii U’s latest console update includes a Virtual Console. The software update will also have Miiverse support and ‘off-TV’ support as well.

“People who have already downloaded these games to their Wii System can transfer them to their Wii U consoles and play them in Wii Mode at no charge,” Nintendo explains. However, “to upgrade and take advantage of the improved Wii U features, they can purchase them at the special discount price of just $1 for NES games and $1.50 for Super NES games.”

Wii U Update Rolls Out Virtual Console

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Fool's Gold

After a long winded run that witness the downsizing, downgrading and down syndrome of ‘modern’ games, degradation and shame in the quality of programming and design, the creation of a new form of vulgarity called ‘DLC’ and the decline of creativity in the insane pursuit of the almighty dollar, we finally are seeing end of one of the saddest eras in the history of video gaming. May this era be wholly documented in the anals…I mean, annals of history, lest we forget! Apologies, but nearly of decade of sodomy and arse pokery in concole gaming has taken its toll.

This generation of gaming examplifies the worst era in history. Never before have consumers been cheated out of their hard earned money in return for some of the most shameful programming to ever grace the idiot box. The Playstation 3, despite initially being a technical marvel purely designed for the true gamer, was placed in the hands of clueless people who failed to market the superior gaming console in a tightly contested console battlefront. Sony almost revealed that it is actually run by a bunch of chimps when they decided to create an uproar by removing certain features from the console. Stupidity seems to be the most prized skill in the world of gaming.

Microsoft fared no better. Having had the upperhand with the early release of the Xbox 360, the pirates of silicon valley stole the march on the Playstation 3. Unfortunately, it was all downhill from then on. Incredibly, Microsoft failed to capitalize on the Japanese market. If you can’t sell a gaming console in the most famous gaming nation in the world, then you are most definitely fucked up. Despite luring the legendary Final Fantasy creators into developing a couple of Xbox 360 exclusive RPGs in their efforts to woo the Japanese, Microsoft half hearted approach was rewarded with a good old ‘Kiss My Ass’ attitude from the Asian consumers.

To add insult to injury, there seemed to be a collective consensus from the major software houses and developers that led to the fraudulent next gen development guidelines propogated by the nefarious suits at Sony, Microsoft, along with third party monsters Electronic Arts and Activision.

Games were considerably shorter and less engaging. The multiplayer element seemed to supercede all the governing factors that went into the production of games despite the fact that high speed broadband was only available to a select few. The achievement/trophy reward system was introduced thereby critically stunting any efforts for modding. The age heralded the demise of homebrew development. Sony and Microsoft insatiable greed had reached unprecendented scales and served as a clear indication or warning regarding the future principals of video game marketing. Piracy would not be tolerated. In short, the old ‘Kill The Poor’ doctrine had finally festered itself in one of the biggest money making industries.

All these only served to guarantee the consumers expectations of a grossly limited range of genres that soon became known collective as ‘console type’. The market was flooded with First Person Shooters that copied the standard of the old Playstation 2 game ‘Black’ with each new offering extolling ‘nice graphics’ and nothing else, the action adventure genre managed to stay above the drowning waters by utilizing a combination of famous big name franchises and sly marketing promos that consisted of short spectacular trailers that were designed to mislead gamers by conveying over the top cutscenes and short high octane in-game footage which usually was about 5% of the actual QTE riddled game play.

The RPG market fared no better. Gone were the days of immersive elaborate extragavanzas. In its place, the deplorable ‘Action RPG’ concept that hardly held its ground in the Playstation 2 days was the de-facto standard. The once revered genre had decomposed into an unrecognizable state as many major RPG developers saw the exodus of their legendary workforce who refused to abide by the degrading new standard of RPG development. As a result, the influx of inept and unskilled programmers and developers quickly assimilated into the vacated positions. Their less than stellar abilities soon became apparent as gamers were force fed some of the worlds worst RPG games of all time. Even the greatest franchises brought shame with unforgivable offerings that were so inferior it remains hard to believe that they had passed a single quality inspection. SquareEnix who once commanded the respect of the masses were found delving into the bottom of rotting barrels to replenish their loss of genius. Bioware simply slipped into a steaming mire of shit by grossly underestimating RPG gamers the world over and seemed to have re-evaluated their strategy based on the ‘Dollar! Dollar bill y’all’ code.

The market was reshaped and corners were cut. Real programmers became extinct. Console manufacturers sat back and cashed their cheques. Third party developers aquired a new degree of arrogance. The software list for the Playstation 3 and Xbox 360 had soon filled itself with titles that would not have made it past the planning stages a little more than a decade ago. And console gamers? Well, they had now become those fuckers who buy games.

So, to all game buying fuckers out there, myself included, of course. The future looks bleak but being the fuckers that we are, we won’t lose hope even if hope abandons us by tapping us on the shoulder and saying goodbye. We’ve survived the boredom of a few Modern Warfare tours, hell, some of us got cheated badly into joining the Colonial Marines, we’ve seen Krikwall..once, at least and we frowned and sighed and made that choice closely based on our favorite color. And now, we stand upon the cusp of a brand new generation of gaming as we watch Microsoft and Sony struggle to squirt their premature new babies out of their disinfected anuses thanks to the panic induced by the WiiU from Nintendo, who still remain radiant as ever, unfazed and unchallenged by the Disk Operating System makers (kiss home-made programming goodbye!) and the creators of the Video Cassette Recorders (porn at home!) who both have a perchant for slyly slipping their cocks in the gamers ass. Well, we don’t care what is going to happen next, because we are all strapped in for the ride and none of us are bending over forward again. Let’s hope that this time the ride over the cliff is a short but good one.

Fool's Gold

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Army of Two: Devil's Cartel

If  you ever wanted to take a ride on a 80s movie train, Army of Two Devil’s Cartel is it. Third in the franchise, I hated the second one…40th day. Gameplay was slow, co-op was too rigid and graphics was generally very PS2. Now this is one of the games that was purpose made for co-op play, online or offline. This is probably an important consideration if you are going to be playing this with someone as the single player option isn’t all that hot. You have very little control over your partner and for some reason, it just doesn’t play that well.

So EA took over the reigns and installed the Frostbite Engine. Devil’s Cartel started to look better since then but not much. Graphics is only one aspect of the game, the rest is positively gameplay.

This new installment has two new guys as Rios and Saleem are semi-retired, well sort of, until Saleem becomes the bad guy, hired by the drug cartel. The two new heros are simply known as Alpha and Bravo and with Rios as back up, time to kick ass.

Faster and Better

Going back to 40th Day—which in my book bombed bigger than a constipated water buffalo. But this one plays much better and faster. The controls are slicker and the play environment is far less rigid. Sure the usual controls are still there. Taking cover, breaching and tag teaming to take out a single badie. But it’s different. You find yourself fighting the controls less and there isn’t much resistance to the controls.Getting in and out of cover was a pain the last one as the controls stuck, this one doesn’t.

Overkill mode is back too, allowing you to become invincible during those precious seconds when you most need it. In this mode, you have unlimited health and ammo. Both players can access this power up at the same time but I never found the need to.

Stage by Stage

One of the problems with shooting games in local co-op mode is that when you play as a single player, some missions become questionable. For example in one mission where you need to provide cover for each other while you are up in the air in a chopper and your partner is down below. Your chopper can take on multiple hits from rocket fire from below without flinching because your partner [AI] needs to take out the rocket launchers from below. It is silly but there is no need to do this since you can’t possibly have control over two players while playing alone so for these challenges, you sort of become invincible. I remember the chopper taking multiple hits. Not a scratch on my health score or the chopper’s damage.

This changes when two players are at the helm. You need to back up your partner or he gets killed. This two tier system is most fun as you separate from your partner to take a different route. This makes for better gameplay as you have to battle alone and if you die, your partner can’t reach you to revive you. Revival is fast too, that is a bonus.

The weapons are pretty stoic affairs. You get to choose your loadout, SMGs, Assault Rifles, Sniper rifles, Machine guns, etc. You get through each stage and get rewarded with cash to buy these great little weapons. But there is a limit to the amount of accessories. Like an iPhone, you can choose a different camo paint, install better sights, silencers and blast shields. The side arm is less inspiring. You get standard issue pistols with no customization available unless all you’re looking for is a camo paint job.

There are no RPGs, heat seekers or the odd AVIS rent-a-tank. You get to shoot people with Gatling guns and a grenade launcher on some missions but it’s not part of the standard load out. That coz you need to take on these heavies, similar to the Juggernauts from Call of Duty series. Heavily armored and carrying a machine gun or a shotgun, they do heavy damage but you can counter that with some well placed shots to the head or use your Overkill ticket.

Gone are weapon exchanges. You can’t swap weapons with your partner but you can pick one up from a dead enemy. There are no ammo dumps to ante up but with more than enough dead enemies lying after the mayhem, getting reloaded isn’t a problem.

The much advertised shoot-the-turkey-after-you-shoot-its-hiding-place is misstated. Not everything will go to dust if you fire at it long enough. Some hiding places are not that difficult to take down but that applies to your hiding places as well. The aiming isn’t spot on either. There have been times when I aimed for the head and the shot just didn’t register because of some bug.

Bug wise, I only found one. I was floating in mid-air for no apparent reason and could not shoot back. It was only after my hiding place got got blown up that I found myself being let down to earth again.

Conclusion

It’s fun, it’s not fantastic but as a two player co-op, it’s better than expected. Like an 80s action movie. Lots of shooting, killing and mayhem.  There is very little variation to the gameplay and you can’t possibly expect this game to be such a hit that it somehow eclipses Call or Duty. What this game offers you is a tag-team play that is a pleasant surprise.

There are no big time enemies to take out, no puzzles, no struggling with high places or gameplay on rails where you have to push different buttons to execute a kill. The melee option looks positive. If you are up close, you just slaughter them, if they come after you with a knife, you wrestle them to the ground and do unto him what he wanted to do unto you. Play time is roughly six hours, but I was taking my time.

It’s simple. Light hearted at times and easy to get into. The story and cut scenes are reminiscent of a typical 80s action movie. No depth, lots of getting even. That said, blind violence is not a bad thing.


Army of Two: Devil's Cartel

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